Since the death of my Mom at the end of February, well, a lot has changed. I was blessed to be able to hang out with my grandmother and my family yesterday for Mother’s Day, but it was a hard day that brings with it a certain emptiness now. Her death has completely transformed my experience of what it means to honor one’s ancestors. Until my Mom’s death I looked at ancestral contact as largely a one way street. During times of stress I often prayed and left offerings to my ancestors and asked them for help. When I was having troubles with my business I would pray to my Grandfather Don to lend me a hand in whatever way that he could. I figured this appropriate since he was a small business man himself, I knew he could relate. Whenever I went on a plane trip I would toast my Grandfather Jack and drink a Gin martini (his favorite drink) then ask him to keep me safe on the plane ride. I get rather nervous when I fly and he was an outstanding Air Force pilot. Who better to ask for help on a plane ride than a pilot? The list could go on.
When my Mom died, my attitude towards my ancestors changed. Not long after her death there were some signs that her transition from this world to the Otherworld may be going a little rough. I will not go into what those signs were exactly, but even the most Atheistic members of my family admitted that something strange was going on. It was right around this time that I started to do Faery Seership work. Faery Seership work starts, ironically enough, with ancestral contact. So I set up and altar specifically as a place of communion and communication with my ancestors. I now sit down every night before bed and pray for my Momand all my ancestors. I prayed that the gods and goddesses would aid her in her crossing, that her father, and all of our ancestors would help her and receive her with open arms, music and laughter. For some reason it had never occurred to me that our ancestors may need our help just as much as we need theirs!
I have been amazed at how powerful the practice of working with my ancestors on a daily basis has been. Specifically this practice (in combination with some others) has enhanced dream contact in some very startling ways. Not long after beginning this practice I started to have regular contact with my Mom in dreams. Again, I will keep these dreams to myself, but suffice it to say that the gap between this world and the next seems a lot thinner to me than before. Although I have had no dream contact with her for a few weeks now, I do feel connected with her, this has been tremendously healing for me. I “know” this contact has been healing for my Mom as well. Our relationships with family do not end after they (or I) move on to the Otherworld, they continue. And sometimes they still look to us to fulfill dreams and goals that they did not get a chance to complete. I believe that our ancestors are intimately and constantly involved in our lives, and regular prayer and contact with them makes it easier for them to impact us, and for us to impact them.